Contemplation: At the Center

Contemplation: At the Center https://members.ssvpusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/contemp-010926.png 720 451 Tim Williams Tim Williams https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/3b9294bd74952e39774c0341c6d92d539de730b6e2b64689bfb5a5a2c7c58683?s=96&d=mm&r=g January 11, 2026 January 11, 2026

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By Timothy P. Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development

Shortly after the election of Pope Francis in 2013, photos of the crowd awaiting his first appearance were published alongside photos of an earlier crowd awaiting the appearance of Pope Benedict XVI. In 2005, the massive crowd simply stood waiting. Eight years later, they held thousands of phones aloft in order to record what was to come. It seems that, as cameras have become ubiquitous, we seek to chronicle as much as we can, often at the expense of truly experiencing it in the first place. We risk ending up with more photos on our phones than memories in our minds.

In a similar way, on our home visits, we sometimes seek to learn, and write down, everything that can be known, like the gentile in the famous Talmudic story, who demanded to be taught the entire law while standing on one foot. We bring along clipboards holding forms with a hundred boxes that we feel bound and committed to fill, and sometimes begin to focus more on that clipboard than on the person before us, just as so many in that 2013 crowd stared at their cameras instead of Pope Francis. What do they – and we – truly remember from our encounters? What greater understanding do we gain from a page of notes or a picture than what is revealed through an encounter in which we are fully present?

Our Manual reminds us, in the context of confidentiality, that “Because people tend to share personal information more freely with their Vincentian visitors in the relaxed atmosphere of their own homes, Society members should be careful to record only what is essential to serve them.” [Manual, 21] It’s okay to take notes, of course, but the more we record, the more we ensure that very little on our pages of notes will be at all necessary, much less essential, to serve them. As the Manual suggests, the more we record, the less we demonstrate our commitment to confidentiality. In turn, the less we truly respect the dignity of the neighbor

It is possible, in our day and age, to record everything. It is not possible, in any day and age, to experience everything twice. Our home visits are not an occasion to record, but to experience, to listen, and to try to understand. We are not there to inventory lives, or to audit the books, we are there to listen to our neighbors “with [our] hearts, beyond all words and appearances.” [Rule, Part I, 1.11] We “seek to understand them as [we] would a brother or sister.” [Rule, Part I, 1.9]

All we really need in order to pay an electric bill is a copy of the bill, but paying a bill is not the most important reason we are there. We are there to form relationships. We are there to share God’s love and Christ’s hope through our loving and humble presence. We do that best not by seeking all the knowledge in the room, but by remembering that God is at its center. This should be easy to remember on a home visit. After all, He is sitting right in front of us.

Contemplate

Do I allow myself to be distracted from the encounter by a desire to “write it all down”?

Recommended Reading

‘Tis a Gift to be Simple

Contemplación: En el centro

Traducción de Sandra Joya
Poco después de la elección del Papa Francisco en 2013, se publicaron fotos de la multitud que esperaba su primera aparición, junto con fotos de una multitud anterior que esperaba la aparición del Papa Benedicto XVI. En 2005, la multitud simplemente esperaba de pie. Ocho años después, sostenían miles de teléfonos en alto para grabar lo que iba a suceder. Parece que, a medida que las cámaras se han vuelto omnipresentes, buscamos documentar todo lo que podemos, a menudo a expensas de experimentarlo realmente en primer lugar. Corremos el riesgo de terminar con más fotos en nuestros teléfonos que recuerdos en nuestra mente.

De manera similar, en nuestras visitas a domicilio, a veces buscamos aprender y anotar todo lo que se puede saber, como el gentil de la famosa historia talmúdica, que exigió que le enseñaran toda la ley mientras estaba parado sobre un solo pie. Llevamos consigo portapapeles con formularios con cien casillas que nos sentimos obligados a llenar, y a veces comenzamos a concentrarnos más en el portapapeles que en la persona que tenemos delante, al igual que muchos en esa multitud de 2013 miraban sus cámaras en lugar del Papa Francisco. ¿Qué recuerdan realmente ellos, y nosotros, de nuestros encuentros? ¿Qué mayor comprensión obtenemos de una página de notas o una fotografía que la que se revela a través de un encuentro en el que estamos plenamente presentes?

Nuestro Manual nos recuerda, en el contexto de la confidencialidad, que “Dado que las personas tienden a compartir información personal con mayor libertad con sus visitantes vicentinos en la atmósfera relajada de sus propios hogares, los miembros de la Sociedad deben tener cuidado de registrar solo lo que es esencial para servirles”. [Manual, 21] Está bien tomar notas, por supuesto, pero cuanto más registramos, más nos aseguramos de que muy poco de lo que anotamos será necesario, y mucho menos esencial, para servirles. Como sugiere el Manual, cuanto más registramos, menos demostramos nuestro compromiso con la confidencialidad. A su vez, menos respetamos verdaderamente la dignidad del prójimo.

Es posible, en nuestra época, grabar todo. No es posible, en ninguna época, experimentar todo dos veces. Nuestras visitas a domicilio no son una ocasión para grabar, sino para experimentar, escuchar e intentar comprender. No estamos allí para hacer un inventario de vidas ni para auditar las cuentas; estamos allí para escuchar a nuestros vecinos «con el corazón, más allá de las palabras y las apariencias». [Regla, Parte I, 1.11] Buscamos comprenderlos «como a un hermano o una hermana». [Regla, Parte I, 1.9]

Para pagar una factura de electricidad, solo necesitamos una copia de la factura, pero pagar una factura no es la razón más importante por la que estamos allí. Estamos allí para forjar relaciones. Estamos allí para compartir el amor de Dios y la esperanza de Cristo a través de nuestra presencia amorosa y humilde. Lo logramos mejor no buscando obtener todo el conocimiento posible, sino recordando que Dios está en el centro de todo. Esto debería ser fácil de recordar durante una visita a domicilio. Después de todo, Él está sentado justo frente a nosotros.

Contemplar

¿Me dejo distraer del encuentro por el deseo de «anotarlo todo»?

7 Comments

Dorcas Okor January 13, 2026 at 9:39 am

I am sometimes distracted by filling the required form during home visit. DO WE REALLY NEED ALL OF THE INFORMATION WE GATHER IN ORDER TO HELP THE NEIGHBOR? Are we not intruding too much into their privacy? I imagine its for statistical purposes but do we need all of that information?

- Tim Williams January 13, 2026 at 9:49 am
  
  I don’t know what sort of forms your conference requires, but as Members we should respect Conference guidelines. In addition, Conferences and Councils are expected to annually review their service to the neighbor in order to improve it. [Rule, Part III, St. 22] This would be a good time to raise your concerns with your friends and fellow members in your Conference, perhaps reaching a new consensus based on your recent experiences, and in light of the Rule and Holy Scripture.
  
Jerry January 16, 2026 at 6:31 am

Each first visit there is two different expectations in the room. Those in need hear that St Vincent DePaul pays bills.. That is their expectation….Asking questions of who owes the bill or why the bill is not paid ,to them isn’t getting the bill paid….The Vincentian trying to be a good Steward with limited resources, attempts to determine the level of assistance to solve the problem…. Relationships are not the focus in the first visit and if you can’t justify the expenditure the second visit won’t go well.to establish a relationship..

- Tim Williams January 16, 2026 at 2:10 pm
  
  Thank you, Jerry, for the reminder that there is always a practical aspect to the home visit that we must not neglect! Understanding the need, which sometimes means helping the neighbor to prioritize among many needs, helps us to find the best way to help. This is why we “endeavor to establish relationships based on trust and friendship” with the neighbor, and “seek to understand them as [we] would a brother or sister.” [Rule, Part I, 1.9] Although it will certainly deepen on subsequent visits (if there are any), the relationship that enables these conversations is always the focus – everything else flows from this.
  
  I can recall many visits where we were unable to provide the assistance requested, but the neighbor always thanked us, sometimes though tears, for being the only ones to answer, the only ones to care enough to listen, and the only ones to pray with them. There are many reasons we may be unable to provide material assistance, but the reason should never be that we are saving the money for somebody more deserving. As the Manual reminds us:
  
  Conference members should never adopt the attitude that the money is theirs, or that the recipients have to prove that they deserve it. Although common sense in distribution is expected by those who support the Conference, members need to remember that, by and large, they are dealing with individuals and families who may be desperate, who often have dysfunctional histories, and who are at a point in their lives when a multitude of problems weigh them down. These are precisely the people whom the Society is called on to serve by bringing them support and hope. Erring on the side of compassion is always advisable. [Manual, 23]
  
  Focusing on the relationships first helps us to live Bl. Rosalie’s advice to “Be kind and love, for love is your first gift to the poor. They will appreciate your kindness and your love more than all else you can bring them.” And after all, as our Rule explains, we seek to serve for love alone. [Rule, part I, 2.2]
  
Paul Ackerman January 16, 2026 at 9:39 am

My preference is to absorb the contents of the visit and only afterwaqrds to complete the applicatriion thereby avoiding the impression of being a “case worker” from an agency.

- Tim Williams January 16, 2026 at 1:36 pm
  
  Hi Paul, thank you for sharing your experiences. Although I’ve never seen an “application” for assistance, I think your approach is a good one in trying to honor your Conference guidelines while focusing on the encounter with the neighbor. Because, as you suggest, we are not “case workers” or social workers, and should not give the impression that we are.
  
Dawn February 7, 2026 at 7:11 am

Thanks so much Tim. We are doing difficult work, and sometimes our support becomes very transactional despite our best efforts. As a new Spiritual Advisor and Vincentian, sometimes I struggle with all the various dynamics . Thank you for expressing this constant reminder that everything flows from relationship and that our love for our neighbors is what keeps us moving forward in these very dire economic and social times.