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02-15-24 Questions & Answers

02-15-24 Questions & Answers 1200 628 Jill Pioter

Q: Who makes up the executive board of a Conference? 

A: The vast majority of all Conferences use Bylaws document 1. Therefore, there is normally no executive board for Conferences. The Manual and Rule speak of a Conference board. This is not a formal Board of Directors.  It is also not an executive board which has specific authority granted to it. The Conference board is simply the slate of officers (President, Vice President(s), Secretary, and Treasurer). They have no specific authority other than representation of the Conference and requirement to fulfill specific tasks. All decisions are made by the Active Members of the Conference as a whole.

However, if the Conference is incorporated separately (using Bylaws document 2 or 10), there may be legal requirements for a formal board of directors, and the word “Executive” is used for an Executive Committee, a governance subset of the Board. This board membership should be in the same manner as the non-incorporated Conference board unless specifically required otherwise by state nonprofit etc., laws.

 Q: Can you give me some examples of how The Rule was changed several years ago in regard to more emphasis on spirituality?

A:  In the old Rule and Manual, there were essentially less than a handful of mentions of spirituality. The second chapter in Part I addressed spirituality. The Rule also briefly indicates the need for a Spiritual Advisor. The Conference meeting agenda also included a spiritual reading and discussion. The Manual also had occasional mentions of spirituality.

In the new Rule, Part I has several Articles (2.1 through 2.6) specifically related to spirituality. Part I continues with additional articles spread throughout referencing our relationship to the Church and the Church’s social teachings. Part III addresses spirituality in the first four statutes and then liberally throughout the rest of Part III. The Manual devotes essentially the entire second half of the book to spirituality.


P: ¿Quiénes conforman la Mesa Ejecutiva de una Conferencia?

R: La gran mayoría de las Conferencias utilizan el documento 1 de los Estatutos. Por lo tanto, normalmente no hay una Mesa Ejecutiva para las Conferencias. El Manual y el Reglamento hablan de un Conferencia con Mesa Directiva. Esta no es una Mesa Directiva formal. Tampoco es una Mesa Ejecutiva la que se le otorguen facultades específicas. La Mesa Directiva de la Conferencia es simplemente la lista de funcionarios (Presidente, Vicepresidente(s), Secretario y Tesorero). No tienen ninguna autoridad específica más allá de la representación de la Conferencia y el requisito de cumplir tareas específicas. Todas las decisiones son tomadas por los Miembros Activos de la Conferencia en su conjunto.

Sin embargo, si la Conferencia se incorpora por separado (utilizando el documento 2 o 10 de los Estatutos), puede haber requisitos legales para una Mesa Directiva formal, la palabra “Ejecutiva” se usa para un Comité Ejecutivo, un subconjunto de gobernanza de la Mesa Directiva. La membresía de la Mesa Ejecutiva debe ser de la misma manera que la Mesa Directiva de la Conferencia no incorporada, a menos que las leyes estatales sin fines de lucro, etc., exijan específicamente lo contrario.

P: ¿Puede darme algunos ejemplos de cómo se cambió La Regla hace varios años con respecto a un mayor énfasis en la espiritualidad?

R: En la antigua Regla y Manual, había esencialmente menos de un puñado de menciones de espiritualidad. El segundo capítulo de la primera parte abordó la espiritualidad. La Regla también indica brevemente la necesidad de un Consejero Espiritual. La agenda de la reunión de la Conferencia también incluyó una lectura espiritual y una discusión. El Manual también contenía menciones ocasionales a la espiritualidad.

En la nueva Regla, la Parte I tiene varios artículos (2.1 a 2.6) específicamente relacionados con la espiritualidad.  La primera parte continúa con artículos adicionales que hacen referencia a nuestra relación con la Iglesia y las enseñanzas sociales de la Iglesia.  La Parte III aborda la espiritualidad en los primeros cuatro estatutos y luego liberalmente en el resto de la Parte III.  El Manual dedica esencialmente toda la segunda mitad del libro a la espiritualidad.


How Can a Person Who Recently Lost a Loved One Cope With Christmas?

How Can a Person Who Recently Lost a Loved One Cope With Christmas? 2560 1704 Jill Pioter

Vincentian John J. Donohue from the St. Mary Magdalen bereavement group shared this with fellow members in the hopes it might help others this Christmas season.

How Can a Person Who Recently Lost a Loved One Cope With Christmas?

Many people are very happy during the Christmas season. They are filled with joy. However, there are many others who are filled with sadness because of the death of a loved one.

I can remember when my wife of 28 years died of cancer and I had three children to raise. Christmas was immensely sad for my children and myself. I did not know how to function. I did not know how to cook, do the laundry and many other things. I wished someone would have told me how to survive this most difficult time of my life. I resolved that if I ever got over all of these issues, I will do my very best to help those in a similar situation. The following are some of my thoughts.

Some Thoughts on Coping With the Christmas Season

The chances are you are not going to have a happy Christmas. As a result, you should lower your expectations. A reasonable goal would be to make your Christmas tolerable. Some of the things to consider are as follows:

  • Rest. You are undergoing the equivalent of a heart attack. Like any person who endures a heart attack, you need peace and quiet. Rest is essential and therapeutic. Create a day of self-care or a self-health day.
  • Watch what you eat and drink. There is a strong tendency to eat junk food or use excessive drugs or alcohol.
  • Exercise. Exercise helps to relieve stress. Take walks. Walks help to relieve anxiety.
  • Build yourself up emotionally. Do not be too hard yourself. Have confidence you can do certain things. If you do not know how to do something, ask for help. Friends are glad to have an opportunity to help you. Speak to your friends. Buy something nice for yourself. Have some time alone.
  • Consider new traditions – plan ahead. Determine what you can do and what you cannot do. Do something different than you did last year.
  • Discuss with your family who is doing what. Give yourself a break. This is the year you should not be overdoing anything. Let others do the work. Do not set a place at the table for the loved one. It will make the day more difficult. Consider a buffet style dinner instead of a sit down dinner. You could also consider having dinner at someone else’s house.
  • Christmas cards. Do not be compelled to send Christmas cards. Send none or a few. No one expects to receive a card from you.
  • Invitations. You may be invited to go to a party or any other social event. Do not be afraid to say no. People should understand. Only attend if you know you will feel comfortable. Generally, it is a bad idea to go to a wedding or an affair where there will be a lot of singing or dancing.
  • Shopping. Keep your shopping to a minimum. Stay out of malls or crowds. This is the time to do any online-shopping.
  • It is ok to cry. It helps to relieve anxiety. Just let the tears flow. It is therapeutic.
  • OK to be happy. Your loved one would want you to be happy. It is not disrespectful to your loved one. It gives you a break from your sadness.
  • Journal. Some people find it helpful to write out their thoughts. Do not use a computer. It is more therapeutic to write out your thoughts.

Let Christmas be the beginning of a new version of yourself. Spend time to think about Christmas more than you ever did before. Your loved one is enjoying Christ’s birthday in heaven. What a special gift! He or she will reach down from heaven and touch your heart in a way it was never touched before. You just have to ignore the commercialism and open your heart to love.

Christ came into this world as an infant and left the world a martyr. Ask yourself, do you really believe there is a God? If so, place your trust in Him. Speak to Him about your problems. Christ has said He will remove the yoke from your shoulders. I have seen a yoke and it is very heavy.

Allow Christ to be your companion on your journey. Know that you are special. Christ has given you special gifts. He does not bring anyone into the world “empty handed”. So reach out to others with love, compassion and understanding and you will have a wonderful Christ filled Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all and may Our Good Lord fill all of our hearts with love and joy and hold all of us in the Palms of His hands!

John J. Donohue
St. Mary Magdalen bereavement group
December 9, 2021

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