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Conflict in Conference Meetings
Conflict in Conference Meetings 1200 628 admin

Conference meetings are intended to be “mutually fulfilling” gatherings where members joyfully share their experiences, grow in faith and make plans to serve others. Sometimes, however, members do not always agree on how to go about these activities and the meetings are far from mutually fulfilling. Managing meeting conflict is almost never at the top of any Conference president’s list of favorite undertakings, but it doesn’t need to be a negative experience. In fact, sometimes it can be healthy and help your Conference grow. Here we share a few tips to better prevent and manage conflict within your Conference meetings.

 To Prevent Conference Meeting Conflicts

Send out a detailed, specific agenda ahead of time so that members know how the meeting will proceed. Make it clear that the meeting will unfold in an organized, respectful manner.

  • Know the strengths and weaknesses of the members in your Conference, and tailor the discussion style to maximize the strengths and minimize the weaknesses.
  • Encourage frequent communication among Conference members outside of meetings so that members feel informed and are not taken by surprise.
  • Ensure that minutes are kept of Conference meetings, including specifics about decisions made and timeframes. Distribute minutes in advance to all Conference members to reduce inconsistencies in memory.
During a Conference Meeting
  • Make sure all Conference members have the chance to speak and be listened to respectfully.
  • For significant topics, give members a few moments to process the question at hand and perhaps write down a few notes before starting the discussion.
  • Present things in such a way that indicates the Conference is working through issues together.
  • Try to anticipate conflict and address the issue before it happens. Be aware of members’ nonverbal communication and apparent discomfort.
  • Encourage the Conference to be specific in its decisions to avoid ambiguity about when or how something will be done (i.e., “Jesse will contact Father Mike by noon on Friday,” not “Jesse will contact Father Mike soon”).
Should a Conflict Arise

Pause briefly to allow the Conference and its members a chance to temper emotions and think of how to say things in a thoughtful, respectful fashion.

  • Repeat/summarize what you have heard Conference members say so they know you heard them.
  • Neutralize personally-directed comments by restating them in terms of objective qualities, issues or actions, not people themselves (i.e., “Maria tries to avoid us all of the time and refuses to answer our phone calls” to “You feel that Maria is not making herself available to the needs of the Conference,” or perhaps even better, “You feel that our current system of reporting home visits is not working”).
  • Redirect tangents back to the agenda item under discussion.
  • Restate and reframe the larger context of the situation to keep the topic in perspective.
  • Identify and outline the points of agreement that exist between disagreeing parties.
  • Find a “grain of truth” in an opposing viewpoint and use that to begin to build consensus.
  • Strive to arrive at group consensus; avoid voting on a divisive topic if possible.
  • Place the discussion on hold and ask the Conference spiritual advisor to lead the Conference in a prayer before continuing.
If the Conference Is Stuck
  • Reduce unknown factors and fear by assigning a subgroup to research the topic a bit more and report back at a future meeting.
  • Table the conversation until a future meeting.
  • Discern whether someone perceives a threat to themselves or to their interests. If so, address/discuss the issue in a kindly fashion that preserves their dignity.
  • If the topic is hijacking the meeting, arrange for either the whole group or those members most invested in the topic to hold a separate meeting in the future to discuss it.
  • If only one individual is upset about an issue for a prolonged period of time, ask to meet separately with him/her after the meeting.
  • Consider whether another factor(s) may be contributing to rigidity in mindset or aggression in verbal response.
  • While maintaining confidentiality, seek advice from fellow Conference/Council presidents, National Office staff, committee chairs or other Vincentian peers. Many other Vincentian leaders may have faced similar circumstances and have suggestions based on what worked for them.

Know that you are not alone in facing difficult Conference situations at times. Facing conflict may not be your favorite part of serving the poor, but your adept handling of it will allow for so much more love, respect, commitment and loyalty to grow among Conference members and toward those in need as a result.

Unoriginal material in the above list was drawn from the following articles. If you would like further information, follow the links below:

11-09-23 Questions & Answers
11-09-23 Questions & Answers 1200 628 admin

Q: We purchased two tires and a vehicle tow for a recently homeless family. Should the value of these items be listed under “other” under “in kind” services and goods?

A: If Conference funds were spent to purchase tires and vehicle tow, report the amount spent under “Those We Serve.” “In Kind” services (legal, medical, dental, other) and Goods (food, furniture, clothing, other) are resources provided to neighbors with no financial cost to the Conference. In-Kind is either donated goods or pro bono services.

Q: One of our Conference members is an attorney who does pro bono volunteer work. How should he report the number of times and value of his “in-kind” legal services, with our Conference, District, and Diocesan Councils?

A: When reporting “in kind” services, the number of times services/goods were provided to a person/family unit should be counted, as well as the value of the services/goods. The value is based on the reasonable cost if a person with financial means would have to pay for the same goods or services. The amount is an estimate at our best judgement.

Spanish Translation

P: Compramos dos llantas y un remolque para vehículo para una familia que se quedó sin hogar recientemente. ¿Debería incluirse el valor de estos artículos en la sección “otros” y en la sección “en especie” de servicios y bienes?

R: Si los fondos de la Conferencia se gastaron para comprar llantas y remolque para vehículos, informe la cantidad gastada en “Aquellos a quienes servimos”. Los servicios “en especie” (legales, médicos, dentales, otros) y los bienes (alimentos, muebles, ropa, otros) son recursos proporcionados a los prójimos sin costo financiero para la Conferencia. Los bienes en especie son bienes donados o servicios pro-bono.

P: Uno de los miembros de nuestra Conferencia es un abogado que hace trabajo voluntario pro-bono. ¿Cómo se debe informar el número de veces y el valor de sus servicios legales “en especie”, con nuestros Consejos de Distrito y Diocesano?

R: Para informar sobre los servicios “en especie”, se debe contar el número de veces que se proporcionaron servicios o bienes a una persona o a una unidad familiar, así como el valor de los servicios o bienes. El valor se basa en el costo razonable si usted, yo, o una persona con medios financieros tuviera que pagar por los mismos bienes o servicios. La cantidad es una estimación a nuestro mejor juicio.

11-2-2023 Questions and Answers
11-2-2023 Questions and Answers 1200 628 admin

Q: I know that Conferences are expected to follow federal, state, and local laws but I can’t find in the Rule where it states that.

A: It is not stated in the Rule. It is located in the Nationally Approved Bylaws for Conferences in Article 2. You will also find this in the Manual on Page 30 under two sections: “Legal and Financial Realities” and “Tax Laws and Financial Records.”

Q: What is the difference in bylaws between a Conference with an integrated board and a Conference with a separate board?

A: Conferences that are not incorporated are to use Document 1. They do not have a Board of Directors.

Conferences that are incorporated have two choices:

  1. Document 2 is Bylaws for a Conference with a Separate Board of Directors. This option provides for the President selecting/appointing the members of the Board. In this case, the Board has the authority to define policy. However, the Conference as a whole has the authority to override decisions made by the Board.
  2. Document 10 is Bylaws for a Conference with an Integrated Board of Directors. This option provides for all Conference members to be on the Board of Directors plus some appointees by the President. All members of the Conference are already on the Board, so there is no overriding authority.

Spanish Translation

P: Sé que se espera que las Conferencias sigan las leyes federales, estatales y locales, pero no puedo encontrar en la Regla dónde se establece eso.

R: Está en la Regla, Parte I, 5.2. También se encuentra en los Estatutos Aprobados a Nivel Nacional para Conferencias en el Artículo 2 y en el Manual en la página 30 en dos secciones: “Realidades Legales y Financieras” y “Leyes Tributarias y Registros Financieros”. A menudo hay una referencia a seguir las leyes estatales en sus Artículos de Incorporación.

P: ¿Cuál es la diferencia entre una Conferencia con una Mesa Directiva integrada y una Conferencia con una Mesa Directiva separada?

R: Las Conferencias que no se incorporen deben utilizar el Documento 1.  No tienen Mesa Directiva Separada.

Las Conferencias que se incorporan tienen dos opciones:

  1. El Documento 2 son los Estatutos para una Conferencia con una Mesa Directiva Separada.  Esta opción prevé que el Presidente seleccione/designe a los miembros de la Mesa Directiva.  En este caso, la Mesa Directiva tiene la autoridad para definir la política.  Sin embargo, la Conferencia en su conjunto está facultada para anular las decisiones adoptadas por la Mesa Directiva.
  2. El Documento 10 son los Estatutos para una Conferencia con una Mesa Directiva Integrada.  Esta opción prevé que todos los miembros de la Conferencia formen parte de la Mesa Directiva, además de algunas personas designadas por el Presidente. Todos los miembros de la Conferencia ya forman parte de la Mesa, por lo que no existe una autoridad superior.

10-26-2023 Questions and Answers
10-26-2023 Questions and Answers 1200 628 admin

Q: At a recent multi-Conference gathering, someone suggested that if a neighbor requests assistance more than once, the neighbor will be asked to perform “community service” in order to be served beyond the initial time. Is this in keeping with either the spirit or the letter of the Vincentian Rule?

A: The works of the Society have always been in imitation of Jesus. The assistance provided by Jesus was unconditional. He did not require those He helped to do anything in order to receive His assistance.

Once you require someone to do work in order to receive something in return (food, clothing, furniture, rent payment, utility bill payment, etc.), it falls into the realm of an employer-employee relationship with laws that have to be followed in that respect. What you are describing is not something the Society endorses.

Q: We are having our annual awards banquet and I am the Awards Nomination chairperson. Which award is the very highest, which award next, etc.? Is there someplace I could find this defined?

A: Awards are unique to each Council and Conference granting them. There is no set order defined by the National Council or an order defined by tradition. Each Council and Conference grants their own awards and decides the order of importance.

Spanish Translation

P: En una reciente reunión de varias Conferencias, alguien sugirió que, si un prójimo solicita asistencia más de una vez, se le pedirá a esa persona que realice “servicio comunitario” para que se le sirva más allá del tiempo inicial. ¿Está esto de acuerdo con el espíritu o lo que dice la Regla Vicentina?

R Los trabajos de la Sociedad siempre han sido a imitación de Jesús. La ayuda proporcionada por Jesús fue incondicional. Él no requirió que aquellos a quienes ayudó hicieran nada para recibir Su ayuda.

Una vez que requiere que alguien trabaje para recibir algo a cambio (comida, ropa, muebles, pago de alquiler, pago de facturas de servicios públicos, etc.), cae en el ámbito de una relación empleador-empleado con leyes que deben seguirse a ese respecto. Lo que usted está describiendo no es algo que la Sociedad respalde.

P: Estamos teniendo nuestro banquete anual de premios y yo soy el Presidente de la nominación de premios.  ¿Qué premio es el más alto, qué premio sigue, etc.? ¿Hay algún lugar donde pueda encontrar esto definido?

R: Los premios son únicos para cada Consejo y Conferencia que los otorga. No hay un orden establecido definido por el Consejo Nacional o un orden definido por la tradición. Cada Consejo y Conferencia otorga sus propios premios y decide el orden de importancia.

10-19-2023 Questions and Answers
10-19-2023 Questions and Answers 1200 628 admin

Q: Can a person join more than one Conference?

A: A Vincentian can hold membership at two Conferences. The member should disclose dual membership status information to both Conferences. Active Membership is defined by the Rule. Although allowed, it’s not often that one person is a member of more than one Conference, so duplication of numbers reporting is not significant.

Q: Recently, it was stated that “Twinning” was officially defined by the Society as: an arrangement between Conferences; A: to send a specific amount of money each month to Conference; B: which have need of additional income on a regular basis. Is this correct? If so, what do we call any help one Conference provides another Conference for a neighbor on a one-time basis?

A: The specific definition you gave is reasonable; however, it is not limited to monthly contributions. Twinning qualifies anytime one Conference or Council sends money to another Conference or Council to help with Society works. Giving money to another Conference to help in a particular case, qualifies instead as a co-pay because you are helping an individual through another Conference. In this case, both Conferences establish a case record for the person or family helped.

Spanish Translation

P: ¿Puede una persona unirse a más de una Conferencia?

R: Un Vicentino puede ser miembro de dos Conferencias. El miembro debe revelar información sobre el estado de doble membresía a ambas Conferencias. La membresía activa está definida por la Regla. Aunque está permitido, no es frecuente que una persona sea miembro de más de una Conferencia, por lo que la duplicación de los informes de números no es significativa.

P: Recientemente, se afirmó que el “Hermanamiento” fue definido oficialmente por la Sociedad como: un acuerdo entre Conferencias; A: enviar una cantidad específica de dinero cada mes a la Conferencia; B: que tiene necesidad de ingresos adicionales de forma regular. ¿Es esto correcto? Si es así, ¿cómo llamamos la ayuda que una Conferencia proporciona a otra Conferencia para un prójimo por una sola vez?

R: La definición específica que dio es razonable; sin embargo, no se limita a las contribuciones mensuales. El Hermanamiento califica cada vez que una Conferencia o Consejo envía dinero a otra Conferencia o Consejo para ayudar con las obras de la Sociedad. Dar dinero a otra Conferencia para ayudar en un caso particular, se considera como un copago porque usted está sirviendo a un individuo a través de otra Conferencia. En este caso, ambas Conferencias establecen un registro del caso para la persona o familia servida.

Members Portal Upgrade
Members Portal Upgrade 1080 1080 admin

We’ve made important changes to the Members Portal, providing a more secure space for member data, bringing us inline with current data security measures, and providing administrators with faster access. At the request of national leadership, the following changes have been made to the Members Portal.

  • Only Administrators shall have login permissions. Members will no longer be able to log in. This change limits the number of logins with access to member information.
  •  Administrators will only see member information for groups they have administrative access over. They will not be able to see member information of other groups. Grouping contact information and leadership remain available to administrators.
  • Password requirements have been changed to meet current minimum standards. All passwords must be 12 characters or more in length and have the following: one uppercase letter, one lowercase letter, one numeral, and one symbol. In order to ensure all passwords meet this standard, administrators will be required to reset passwords at the first post-upgrade login. This reset will only be required once and applies to administrators at all levels.
  • A ‘Forgot Password’ feature has been added, allowing administrators to reset their password at any time. The function sends the user a link via email to reset the password and requires administrators to have an email in their member record.
  • To emphasize data privacy, a privacy policy has been added. The policy is available for review at any time. Administrators must agree to the policy each time they login.
  • Minimum member data required has changed. The number of required fields to add a member has been reduced. First name, last name, member type and member status are the only fields required to add a member. Administrators have additional required fields (email, username, and password) that are essential for logging in and resetting passwords.
  • When adding new members, administrators must confirm that members are aware that their information is being entered into the Members Portal and that the new members are aware of the privacy policies governing the application. A template policy is available on the Need Help? page within the Members Portal for local administrators.

We thank you for your patience during this process. If you have any questions, please email the National Council Information Technology department at techsupport@svdpusa.org.

10-12-2023 Questions and Answers
10-12-2023 Questions and Answers 1200 628 admin

Q: We have a Conference reporting more than $100,000 in the annual report. The balance includes a checking account and investment account. They are reporting the investment gain or loss on line 5E Other Misc. Receipts. Since we report on a cash basis, how should the accounting of gain or loss be reported in the annual report? Should it be considered an adjustment to the beginning balance?

A: The Annual Report is a cash report. Any interest you gain from the checking account is real cash and should be reported under 5E. Only the change in cash should be reported on the Annual Report. If the investment account includes stocks and bonds, they have the original cash value. If cash dividends are received, they are reported under 5E also. A value increase or decrease is not reported until cashed in.

Q: Our Conference received some McDonald’s stock a few years ago, and we would now like to convert this stock to cash. How do we do this?

A: Stock received by a Conference can be converted to cash; however, members should obtain financial advice related to how to handle this process. Please contact Nancy Pino (npino@svdpusa.org), National Council CFO, for initial assistance.

Spanish Translation

P: Tenemos una Conferencia que reporta más de $100,000 en el informe anual. El saldo incluye una cuenta corriente y una cuenta de inversión. Están reportando la ganancia o pérdida de inversión en la línea 5E Otros recibos varios. Dado que informamos sobre una base de caja, ¿cómo debe informarse la contabilidad de ganancias o pérdidas en el informe anual? ¿Debería considerarse un ajuste al saldo inicial?

R: El Informe Anual es un informe de efectivo. Cualquier interés que obtenga de la cuenta corriente es efectivo real y debe reportarse bajo 5E.  Solo el cambio en efectivo debe informarse en el Informe Anual.  Si la cuenta de inversión incluye acciones y bonos, tienen el valor en efectivo original.  Si se reciben dividendos en efectivo, también se informan en 5E.  Un aumento o disminución del valor no se informa hasta que se cobra.

P: Nuestra Conferencia recibió algunas acciones de McDonald’s hace unos años, y ahora nos gustaría convertir estas acciones en efectivo. ¿Cómo lo hacemos?

R: Las acciones recibidas para una Conferencia se pueden convertir en efectivo; sin embargo, los miembros deben obtener asesoramiento financiero relacionado con la forma de manejar este proceso.  Comuníquese con Nancy Pino (npino@svdpusa.org), Directora Financiera del Consejo Nacional, para obtener asistencia inicial.

10-5-2023 Questions and Answers
10-5-2023 Questions and Answers 1200 628 admin

Q: Where is the official ruling that discourages our neighbors in need from seeking help from more than one Conference? As I understand it, we help neighbors who are located within our Conference boundaries. However, I hear that neighbors go to a Conference for help and other Conferences claim they have also helped that person. I was always under the impression that this activity was highly discouraged. Can you clarify the ruling on this? 

A: The Society has no nationally established guidelines discouraging our neighbors in need from seeking help from more than one Conference. The Society exists in only about ¼ of the parishes in the United States; so, our Conferences often find themselves assisting people outside of their parish boundaries. Also, not all Conferences offer the same services. Any rules associated with staying in the parish boundaries are normally established within a District or Diocesan Council.

Spanish Translation

P: ¿Dónde podemos encontrar la decisión oficial que desalienta a nuestros prójimos en necesidad de buscar ayuda de más de una Conferencia?  Según tengo entendido, servimos a los prójimos que se encuentran en los límites de nuestra Conferencia.   Sin embargo, escuché que las personas van a una Conferencia en busca de ayuda y otras Conferencias afirman que también han servido a esa persona.  Siempre tuve la impresión de que esta actividad es desalentada.  ¿Puede aclarar la decisión al respecto? 

R: La Sociedad no tiene pautas nacionales establecidas que desanimen a nuestros prójimos en necesidad de buscar ayuda en más de una Conferencia. La Sociedad existe en sólo alrededor de 1/4 de las parroquias en los Estados Unidos; por lo tanto, nuestras Conferencias a menudo se encuentran sirviendo a personas fuera de los límites de su parroquia.  Además, no todas las Conferencias ofrecen los mismos servicios. Cualquier regla asociada con permanecer en los límites de la parroquia normalmente se establece dentro de un Distrito o Consejo Diocesano.

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So You’ve Been Elected President…
So You’ve Been Elected President… 1200 1200 admin

Thank you for sharing your time and talents with fellow Conference and Council members, as well as those in need. As with all involvement in the Society, we hope your work as a Vincentian servant leader will lead you to greater faith, an increased desire to serve, and stronger friendships.

Do you feel some anxiety about taking on a Vincentian leadership role?  Let’s take a look at a few common myths behind that anxiety.

Myth #1:  You need to know everything now.

No Vincentian has taken a leadership role already knowing everything; to be honest, no current Vincentian leader knows everything now.  What most Vincentian leaders do learn is where to look to find information, where the resources are and who in the Society has experiences and wisdom to share.

Truth #1:  You will learn and grow during your time as a Vincentian leader.

Myth #2:  You are now in charge of everything.

A Vincentian leader is a servant leader who understands the role of God’s providence. Your ultimate role is to harness the gifts and spirit of your members and direct them to growth in holiness and increased love for one another, and in ways of service to others. To do this you will need to allow God to direct you.

Truth #2:  God is in charge of everything. You are called to discern where God is leading and to follow through — and help your members do the same.

Myth #3:  You are all alone in figuring things out.

This myth could not be further from the truth. The Society is truly a global network of charity. Fellow Vincentians in 155 countries are serving those in need, as you are, and desire to do so with love and in an effective manner. As you attend regional and national gatherings, or reach out to other Vincentian leaders, you will find that many people are more than willing to share their knowledge. You will only feel all alone if you do not participate in such interactions and relationships.

Truth #3:  Most Vincentian leaders love to talk about their experiences and help each other.

Reach out to other Vincentians — even if they are not from your area — for advice and support. We will share useful information relevant to your new responsibilities in these Frederic’s e-Gazette articles throughout the year. Thank you for being willing to serve through leadership, and may you be blessed through your witness of following God’s lead in your Conference’s/Council’s service while encouraging others to do the same.

We remind you of the valuable resources on the National website and urge you to review the Governance Page where the Governance Training DVD and the other material the National Governance Committee has prepared can be found. Then make plans to use these tools.  Your Conference and Council will be better off if you do so.

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09-28-2023 Questions and Answers
09-28-2023 Questions and Answers 1200 628 admin
Q: Can we vote to use our secret collection funds to buy gift cards for the children of our needy neighbors who called in asking to be put on our parish giving tree?

A: Conference Members may vote to use their secret collection for purposes other than contributing to the Conference funds. When contributing to another organization, including the local Parish, the contribution must not be identified as coming from SVdP, since they are not giving to the families or children directly through an in-person or Home Visit.

Q: Concerning the Commissioning ceremony, is there a certificate or some form of formal recognition that is part of this ceremony?

A: Many Conferences present pins to Presidents and past Presidents as part of the Commissioning Ceremony. There are also pins for Members. There are no certificates available; however, you may create your own.

Spanish Translation

P: ¿Podemos votar para usar nuestros fondos de la colecta secreta para comprar tarjetas de regalo para los hijos de nuestros prójimos en necesidad, que llamaron pidiéndolas para que los pusieran en nuestro árbol de donaciones parroquiales?

R: Los miembros de la Conferencia pueden votar para usar su colecta secreta para fines distintos de contribuir a los fondos de la Conferencia.  Pero al contribuir a otra organización no Vicentina, incluida la parroquia local, la contribución no debe identificarse como proveniente de SVdP, ya que no se están dando a las familias o niños directamente a través de una visita en persona o en una Visita Domiciliaria.

P: Con respecto a la ceremonia de Instalación o Comisión, ¿hay un certificado o alguna forma de reconocimiento formal que forme parte de esta ceremonia?

R: Muchas Conferencias ofrecen broches/prendedores a los nuevos Presidentes y expresidentes como parte de la ceremonia de instalación. También hay broches/prendedores para los Miembros  No hay certificados disponibles; sin embargo, usted puede crear el suyo propio.

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