Formation

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By Timothy P. Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development 

Why did you join the Society of St. Vincent de Paul? Why are you still a member? The answers to these two simple questions can lead us as individuals, as Conferences, and as a Society to growth in every dimension.

Many, if not most of us, were first drawn to the Society by its promise of participation in service to our neighbors; the physical act of meeting, listening, and helping real people in need. “Conference table ministries” are fine, but the call to the Vincentian vocation is always a call to action. St. Vincent made this clear many times. “All our reasons are fruitless,” he explained, “If they don’t go on to action.” [CCD XI:175]

Soon after joining, we are introduced more fully to our Vincentian spirituality and begin to understand the fullness of this calling. The purpose of the Society is our growth in holiness, towards union with Christ, along with the Vincentian brothers and sisters who walk this pathway with us. We serve not merely to deliver bread, or to pay bills, which would quickly become routine, or even drudgery. It is Christ whom we serve, and we become better ourselves because of it. We “become better … in order to make others happier”, as Blessed Frédéric once put it. [290, to Amélie, 1841]

We receive God’s transformative grace through our sharing with each other in these charitable works, taking joy in each other’s growth, benefiting from the wisdom of more experienced members, from the enthusiasm of newer members, and especially from the neighbors we serve, knowing that “the blessing of the poor is a blessing from God.” [1457, to the Assembly, 1834]

When our Conferences face challenges in meeting the needs before us, when our ranks thin with the departure of older members, we must neither be surprised nor discouraged, for we know, as Frédéric knew, that in Conferences there are “cold seasons and better ones; there is change as in all human things.” [141, to Ballofet, 1837] Rather than being overwhelmed with the work, we must let ourselves overflow with the blessings we receive from it – blessings not only enough to be shared but meant to be shared.

It was our faith that called us to action, and our God Who called us to this vocation. We don’t need to recruit or to persuade people to join us, we only need to share the same call that we once answered, and which has rewarded us so richly. We are surrounded by people who are eager to serve, who are longing for God, and who, though they may not yet know it, are waiting to be called as Vincentians. We have met Christ in this work. Let’s not keep Him to ourselves.

Contemplate

Why did I join the Society? Why do I stay? Why would I keep this to myself?

Recommended Reading

15 Days of Prayer with Blessed Frédéric Ozanam

Contemplación: Para hacer más felices a los demás

Traducción de Sandra Joya

¿Por qué te uniste a la Sociedad de San Vicente de Paúl? ¿Por qué sigues siendo miembro? Las respuestas a estas dos sencillas preguntas pueden llevarnos, como individuos, como Conferencias y como Sociedad, a crecer en todos los aspectos.

Muchos, si no la mayoría, nos sentimos atraídos a la Sociedad por su promesa de participar en el servicio al prójimo; el acto físico de conocer, escuchar y ayudar a personas reales necesitadas. Los ministerios de mesa de conferencias están bien, pero la llamada a la vocación vicenciana siempre es una llamada a la acción. San Vicente lo dejó claro muchas veces: «Todas nuestras razones son infructuosas», explicó, «si no se traducen en acción». [CCD XI:175]

Poco después de unirnos, nos familiarizamos más plenamente con nuestra espiritualidad vicenciana y comenzamos a comprender la plenitud de esta vocación. El propósito de la Sociedad es nuestro crecimiento en santidad, hacia la unión con Cristo, junto con los hermanos y hermanas vicencianos que recorren este camino con nosotros.  No servimos simplemente para repartir pan o pagar facturas, lo cual rápidamente se convertiría en rutina o incluso en una tarea pesada. Es a Cristo a quien servimos, y gracias a ello nos hacemos mejores. Nos «hacemos mejores… para hacer más felices a los demás», como dijo una vez el Beato Federico. [290, a Amélie, 1841]

Recibimos la gracia transformadora de Dios al compartir con los demás estas obras de caridad, disfrutando del crecimiento mutuo, beneficiándonos de la sabiduría de los miembros más experimentados, del entusiasmo de los nuevos y, especialmente, de los vecinos a quienes servimos, sabiendo que «la bendición de los pobres es una bendición de Dios». [1457, a la Asamblea, 1834]

Cuando nuestras Conferencias se enfrentan a desafíos para satisfacer las necesidades que tenemos ante nosotros, cuando nuestras filas disminuyen con la partida de los miembros más antiguos, no debemos sorprendernos ni desanimarnos, pues sabemos, como sabía Federico, que en las Conferencias hay «temporadas frías y otras mejores; hay cambios como en todo lo humano».  [141, a Ballofet, 1837] En lugar de sentirnos abrumados por el trabajo, debemos dejarnos rebosar por las bendiciones que recibimos de él: bendiciones que no solo son suficientes para ser compartidas, sino que están destinadas a ser compartidas.

Fue nuestra fe la que nos llamó a la acción, y nuestro Dios quien nos llamó a esta vocación. No necesitamos reclutar ni persuadir a la gente para que se una a nosotros, solo necesitamos compartir la misma llamada a la que una vez respondimos, y que nos ha recompensado tan abundantemente. Estamos rodeados de personas ansiosas de servir, que anhelan a Dios y que, aunque quizás aún no lo sepan, esperan ser llamadas como Vicencianos. Hemos encontrado a Cristo en esta obra. No nos lo guardemos para nosotros mismos.

Contempla

¿Por qué me uní a la Sociedad? ¿Por qué me quedo? ¿Por qué me guardaría esto para mí?

Leer en Español

By Timothy P. Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development 

Our Rule calls us to humility, but what does that mean for us in practice, both as individuals and as a Society? Humility, of course, is not the same a s secrecy – we are not a secret Society. Nor is humility simply patting ourselves on the back in private. Humility, above all else, is the knowledge that none of this is about us. We’re not the “stars of the movie”. It is “knowing that all that God gives us is for others and that we can achieve nothing of eternal value without His grace.” [Rule, Part I, 2.5.1]

St. Vincent went so far as to say that humility required “self-contempt, considering ourselves the most wretched of all,” and went on to say that we should be “quite pleased to have others preferred to us, either on the missions, or elsewhere, in any ministry whatsoever; or that they succeed better than we do; and we accept that cheerfully for love of Our Lord.” [CCD XII:57]

It seems strange, at first, to imagine that we should hold ourselves and our Society in such low esteem. It seems almost to contradict our belief that this is a special calling from God. Yet it is precisely the belief that we are called that demands our humility. We did not choose God, He chose us. Nothing we accomplish is our work, we are only His instruments. We can no more brag about our works than a saw can brag about the straightness of its cut. Like the saw, our success is due completely to the Carpenter.

The original Rule explained that we love our Society “not because of its excellence, or from pride, but as dutiful children love a poor and deformed mother more than all other women… although we may be fonder of our little association, we will always consider it as less excellent than others; we will regard it, as in fact it is, but as a work formed nobody knows by whom, nor how – born yesterday, and which may die tomorrow.” [Rule, 1835]

How can we possibly approach the poor as true servants if we cannot see ourselves as less than other organizations, or if we approach our works with an eye toward how others might perceive them? “You will say to me perhaps,” St Vincent said, “What will this court think of us and what will they say about us in Paris? Monsieur, let people think and say whatever they wish.” [CCD II:316]

Vincent often pointed out that Christ’s entire life was an act of humility, and that by his example of sharing in our lowly humanity, he shows us that the way to holiness does not lie in seeking worldly success or praise. By seeing Christ in the neighbor, then, let us also see His example of humility, and when the neighbor, humbled by the circumstances which have caused him to seek help, seems to say by his manner “I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof…” let us answer with humility in return, offering words – God’s words – of love, comfort, and healing.

Contemplate

Do I sometimes allow myself to view our annual reports as a scorecard, or a resumé?

Recommended Reading

Vincentian Meditations II

Contemplación: Dándole al Carpintero lo que le corresponde

Traducción de Sandra Joya

Contemplar

¿A veces me permito considerar nuestros informes anuales como un cuadro de mando o un currículum?

Leer en Español

By Timothy P. Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development 

Our Rule reminds us to serve “for love alone”. [Rule, Part I, 2.2] Yet in our lives we know different types of love; the love we have for spouses, children, neighbors, and friends are not all the same. The language of the scriptures, Greek, even contains different words for different kinds of love, and our pop culture offers more variations and qualifiers, such as “tough love”. So, in which love are we called to serve?

St. Vincent de Paul taught that there were two kinds of love: affective and effective. Affective love, he explained was “pleasure and tender feeling one has for the thing loved, as a father has for his child… Effective love consists in doing the things the loved person commands or desires”. [CCD XI:35] His understanding drew upon his friend and mentor St. Francis de Sales, who explained in his Treatise on the Love of God that “the one makes us pleased in God, the other makes us please God: by the one we conceive, by the other we bring forth”. [Treatise, Bk 6, Ch 1]

Both saints, though were really only describing one love: the love of God, which, in the reckoning of our patron, may find its expression in feelings, but has its effect in action; we “witness to God by our works that we love Him. [All our work consists in action.]” [CCD XI:33] Our service to the neighbor, then, is an expression, a sign, of our love for God; it is the effect of that love, the love which the Savior gives to us, and the love by which they will know we are Christians. There is no qualifier needed for the love of God, and no condition which we can attach to those works through which we express His love. Our Vincentian virtue is gentleness, not toughness.

We all encounter neighbors who seem at times to be the cause of their own troubles, yet as our Manual reminds us, “members should never adopt the attitude that the money is theirs, or that the recipients have to prove that they deserve it. …members need to remember that, by and large, they are dealing with individuals and families who may be desperate, who often have dysfunctional histories, and … a multitude of problems weigh them down. These are precisely the people whom the Society is called on to serve by bringing them support and hope.” [Manual, 23] In his essay, The Undeserving Poor, Bishop Untener explained that “They are the ones who have been helped before—and it didn’t help… They are the ones who seem to take advantage of the system, or other people. Help them anyway.” [SiH, Mod IV]

Of course, we always seek to encourage the neighbor to find a path towards self-sufficiency, always being “sure that you don’t make your assistance dependent upon them actually taking your advice.” [Conf Pres, 35] Neither our assistance nor our love can ever be conditional, and our advice will often be wrong. And after all, God’s grace is “the free and undeserved help that God gives us”. [CCC, 1996] Who are we to keep His undeserved grace and unconditional love to ourselves?

Contemplate

Do I sometimes attach conditions to the assistance I offer to the neighbor?

Recommended Reading

The Spirituality of the Home Visit

Contemplación: Incondicional

Traducción de Sandra Joya

Contemplar

¿A veces pongo condiciones a la ayuda que ofrezco al prójimo?

Leer en Español

By Timothy P. Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development 

It’s been said that meetings are places where minutes are kept and hours are wasted, a joke with enough truth to it that anybody who has sat through a few “all hands” meetings at work, or a meeting of many civic organizations, can surely relate. If all you have attended is Conference Meetings, on the other hand, the joke ought to be confusing.

Sometimes members may wonder why we don’t simply conduct our business electronically, by email or videoconferencing, which is probably more efficient for many tasks. As our Manual points out, “the Conference meets less to conduct business than to celebrate and deepen its unity for essentially spiritual reasons”. [Manual, 18] The business of the Conference, then is not the primary purpose of the meetings, and there is no reason not to conduct some of it by other means – not to reduce the number of meetings, but to make the best use of our meetings by building our friendship, sharing our service, and growing in holiness – not individually, but as our Rule says, “together.” [Rule, Part I, 2.2]

It was less than two years after the founding of the first Conference that Frédéric Ozanam observed that the meetings had begun to change, that the joy and friendship seemed to be waning, and that the meeting “is nearly always concerned with business, it seems long.” [90, to Curnier, 1835] It is no coincidence that the Rule was first drafted shortly after this, a Rule that still reminds us that our meetings “are held in a spirit of fraternity, simplicity, and Christian joy.” [Rule, Part I, 3.4] This is not a command to “go and be joyful.” Instead, like most of our Rule, it is simply a description of what a meeting should look like. If our meetings couldn’t be described that way, we need to rethink how we conduct them. After all, we are governed not by Robert’s Rule, but by the Rule of the Society of St. Vincent de Paul.

Back in his hometown of Lyon after finishing his studies in Paris, Blessed Frédéric often felt isolated from the “the give-and-take of feelings and thoughts, sympathy, intellectual stimulation and moral assistance” which to him were essential to true friendship. He found these blessings of friendship, though, “in our Society of St. Vincent de Paul. Those weekly evening meetings are one of the greatest consolations Providence has left me.” [169, to Lallier, 1838]

The Rule doesn’t call us to try to meet twice a month, it calls us to meet “meet regularly and consistently, usually weekly”. Twice a month is just the minimum. [Rule, Part I, 3.3.1] This not because we seek to compile great volumes of minutes, or audit the conference books each week, but instead to grow in friendship, accompanying each other on the pathway towards holiness. We truly can never meet too often, because time spent with friends is never wasted.

Contemplate

How well do I know my fellow Vincentians? How well do they know me?

Recommended Reading

Amélie Ozanam, A Heart with Much Love to Give

Contemplación: Tiempo con Amigos

Traducción de Sandra Joya

Se dice que las reuniones son lugares donde se llevan actas y se pierden horas, una broma tan cierta que cualquiera que haya asistido a algunas reuniones generales en el trabajo o a una reunión de diversas organizaciones cívicas seguramente lo entenderá. Si, por otro lado, solo ha asistido a reuniones de la Conferencia, la broma debería ser confusa.

A veces, los miembros se preguntan por qué no gestionamos nuestros asuntos electrónicamente, por correo electrónico o videoconferencia, lo cual probablemente sea más eficiente para muchas tareas. Como señala nuestro Manual, «la Conferencia se reúne menos para gestionar asuntos que para celebrar y profundizar su unidad por razones esencialmente espirituales». [Manual, 18] Los asuntos de la Conferencia, por lo tanto, no son el propósito principal de las reuniones, y no hay razón para no gestionar algunos de ellos por otros medios: no para reducir el número de reuniones, sino para aprovecharlas al máximo cultivando nuestra amistad, compartiendo nuestro servicio y creciendo en santidad, no individualmente, sino como dice nuestra Regla, «juntos».  [Regla, Parte I, 2.2]

Menos de dos años después de la fundación de la primera Conferencia, Federico Ozanam observó que las reuniones habían empezado a cambiar, que la alegría y la amistad parecían desvanecerse, y que la reunión «casi siempre se centra en los negocios, parece larga». [90, a Curnier, 1835] No es casualidad que la Regla se redactara poco después, una Regla que aún nos recuerda que nuestras reuniones «se celebran con un espíritu de fraternidad, sencillez y alegría cristiana». [Regla, Parte I, 3.4] Esto no es un mandato de «ir y estar alegres». Más bien, como la mayor parte de nuestra Regla, es simplemente una descripción de cómo debería ser una reunión. Si nuestras reuniones no se pueden describir así, debemos replantearnos cómo las llevamos a cabo. Después de todo, no nos regimos por la Regla de Roberto, sino por la Regla de la Sociedad de San Vicente de Paúl.

De regreso a su ciudad natal, Lyon, tras finalizar sus estudios en París, el Beato Federico a menudo se sentía aislado del intercambio de sentimientos y pensamientos, la simpatía, el estímulo intelectual y la ayuda moral, que para él eran esenciales para la verdadera amistad. Sin embargo, encontró estas bendiciones de la amistad en nuestra Sociedad de San Vicente de Paúl. Esas reuniones vespertinas semanales son uno de los mayores consuelos que la Providencia me ha dejado. [169, a Lallier, 1838]

La Regla no nos llama a intentar reunirnos dos veces al mes, sino a reunirnos con regularidad y constancia, generalmente semanalmente. Dos veces al mes es el mínimo. [Regla, Parte I, 3.3.1] Esto no se debe a que busquemos recopilar grandes volúmenes de actas o revisar los libros de la conferencia cada semana, sino a crecer en la amistad, acompañándonos mutuamente en el camino hacia la santidad. Realmente nunca nos reunimos demasiado, porque el tiempo que pasamos con los amigos nunca es desperdiciado.

Contemplar

¿Cuánto conozco a mis compañeros vicentinos?  ¿Qué tan bien me conocen?

Leer en Español

By Timothy P. Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development 

Servant leadership is a phrase that, on its face, seems to be a contradiction. After all, we suppose, a leader is the one in charge, and the servant is the one the leader is in charge of. How can one be both? In the business world, the phrase “servant leadership” was popularized in the 1960s by Robert Greenleaf, who offered a new model to replace “scientific management” and other rigid, hierarchical models. Yet the concept was not new. It merely echoed the teaching of our Savior, whose example and teaching has inspired the Society’s model of servant leadership from the beginning.

When the sons of Zebedee sought a place of honor among the disciples, Jesus explained to them what this meant, saying, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave.” This was a radical notion for His time and for ours. Who seeks out leadership only to become the lowest?

Some members are reluctant, at first, to take on a leadership role because they do not see themselves as the kind of “commanders” or charismatic figures that the word “leader” conjures in our cultural imagination. The average Vincentian would rather help others as part of the team. Yet this very reluctance towards being in charge was one of the things the St. Vincent considered a key attribute for leadership. Indeed, he said that one brother’s “unimaginable passion for being in charge” actually “frightened” him! [CCD II:326] He even went so far as to say that if one thinks she should be a leader because “she is more capable, would be a better leader, has greater experience, is more prayerful…that’s a diabolical spirit”. [CCD IX:532]

Our Rule says that we should choose for “Council and Conference leadership positions [those] who will carry out their tasks with the same dedication with which they work within their own Conference.” This is not to say Council leadership should merely be like Conference work, but that leaders should “participate regularly in meetings and charitable activities of the Society and visit the poor as often as possible.” [Rule, Part III, St. 12] The commentaries explain further that Council leaders from District to National should “belong to a Conference…This a beautiful custom, which ensures that everyone operates at the ‘grass-roots’ level and ‘keeps their feet on the ground’.”

In the Society, leadership is an essential part of every member’s calling, and it is never removed or separated from the membership we share. As servant leaders, we do not command, but rather serve God, the poor, and each other. As Emmanuel Bailly, the first Conference President, and the first President-General, explained in an 1841 Circular Letter, “No member is above another member”.

Contemplate

If I am reluctant to be “in charge”, am I willing to be a servant?

Recommended Reading

Explore servant leadership in the Vincentian Pathway, and consider attending Invitation for Renewal

Contemplación: Ningún miembro por encima de otro

Traducción de Sandra Joya

El liderazgo de servicio es una frase que, a primera vista, parece contradictoria. Después de todo, suponemos que un líder es quien manda, y el siervo es aquel a quien el líder dirige. ¿Cómo se pueden ser ambas cosas? En el mundo empresarial, la frase «liderazgo de servicio» se popularizó en la década de 1960 gracias a Robert Greenleaf, quien propuso un nuevo modelo para reemplazar la «gestión científica» y otros modelos rígidos y jerárquicos. Sin embargo, el concepto no era nuevo. Simplemente reflejaba las enseñanzas de nuestro Salvador, cuyo ejemplo y enseñanza han inspirado el modelo de liderazgo de servicio de la Sociedad desde sus inicios.

Cuando los hijos de Zebedeo buscaban un lugar de honor entre los discípulos, Jesús les explicó lo que esto significaba, diciendo: «Ustedes saben que los gobernantes de las naciones se enseñorean de ellas, y los grandes las ostentan. Pero entre ustedes no será así. Al contrario, el que quiera ser grande entre ustedes será su servidor; el que quiera ser el primero entre ustedes será su esclavo». Esta era una idea radical para su tiempo y para el nuestro. ¿Quién busca el liderazgo solo para ser el último?

Al principio, algunos miembros se muestran reacios a asumir un rol de liderazgo porque no se ven como el tipo de «comandantes» o figuras carismáticas que la palabra «líder» evoca en nuestro imaginario cultural. El vicentino promedio preferiría ayudar a los demás como parte del equipo. Sin embargo, esta misma reticencia a estar al mando era uno de los aspectos que San Vicente consideraba un atributo clave para el liderazgo. De hecho, dijo que la «inimaginable pasión por estar al mando» de un hermano, ¡en realidad lo «asustaba»!  [CCD II:326] Incluso llegó a decir que si uno piensa que debería ser líder porque “es más capaz, sería mejor líder, tiene mayor experiencia, es más devota… eso es un espíritu diabólico”. [CCD IX:532]

Nuestra Regla dice que debemos elegir para “los puestos de liderazgo del Consejo y la Conferencia a quienes desempeñen sus tareas con la misma dedicación con la que trabajan en su propia Conferencia”. Esto no significa que el liderazgo del Consejo deba ser simplemente como el trabajo de la Conferencia, sino que los líderes deben “participar regularmente en las reuniones y actividades caritativas de la Sociedad y visitar a los pobres con la mayor frecuencia posible”. [Regla, Parte III, Est. 12] Los comentarios explican además que los líderes del Consejo, desde el Distrito hasta la Nacional, deben “pertenecer a una Conferencia… Esta es una hermosa costumbre, que garantiza que todos operen desde la base y mantengan los pies en la tierra”.

En la Sociedad, el liderazgo es parte esencial del llamado de cada miembro y nunca se elimina ni se separa de la membresía que compartimos. Como líderes servidores, no mandamos, sino que servimos a Dios, a los pobres y a los demás. Como explicó Emmanuel Bailly, primer Presidente de la Conferencia y primer Presidente General, en una Carta Circular de 1841: «Ningún miembro está por encima de otro».

Contemplar

Si me resisto a estar «a cargo», ¿estoy dispuesto a servir?

Leer en Español

By Timothy P. Williams, Senior Director of Formation and Leadership Development 

There are few things that can cheer a parent’s heart more than to hear their child exclaim, “This was the best day of my life!” Hearing this is one of the best moments of the parent’s life, no matter what else is going on in the world, no matter the worries of the days ahead that may weigh on us. And although that child has many more days ahead of him – some happy, some sad – he will always remember this one, not for whatever activities made him so happy, but for the happiness itself. The memory of days and moments like these can help carry us through times of trial.

One of the great burdens of poverty, whether it is short-term, situational poverty or lifelong, generational poverty, is the feeling of isolation and abandonment that it can engender. Overwhelmed by what seem to be insurmountable challenges can cause us not only to lose hope, but to lose the energy to even try to find a way out. Even Vincentian home visitors can become overwhelmed by the stories we hear and discouraged that we can’t solve every problem. It can cause us to lose sight of why we go to the poor in the first place.

How often do we hear that we are the only ones who returned the call for help? How often, when we depart, does the neighbor offer heartfelt thanks for our visit “even if you can’t help”? The poet Maya Angelou once said that “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

While it is true that we also help with bills, rent, food, and “any form of help that alleviates suffering or deprivation” [Rule, Part I, 1.3], those are not the things that wipe away tears, or make future burdens lighter. Rather, it is when our presence and our caring allow them to “catch a glimpse of God’s great love for them” [Rule, Part I, 2.1] that the visit can become one of those moments that buoys the spirits not only today, but for many days to come.

We have all called friends in times of distress, not because we thought they could do anything about the illness, job loss, or other difficulty we were facing, but because we needed them to share our burden, to remind us by their presence and understanding that we are not alone. It is for exactly that reason that our Rule calls us to “establish relationships based on trust and friendship.” [Rule, Part I, 1.9]

We always give generously, we always provide whatever material assistance we can, but we must always also be mindful that even if “I give away everything I own…but do not have love, I gain nothing.” We visit as friends in the hope above all that the neighbor will buoyed, today and in days to come, by how we made them feel: loved.

Contemplate

How can I be a better friend to the neighbor?

Recommended Reading

Faces of Holiness

Contemplación: Un vistazo

Traducción de Sandra Joya

Pocas cosas alegran más el corazón de un padre que escuchar a su hijo exclamar: “¡Este fue el mejor día de mi vida!”. Escuchar esto es uno de los mejores momentos de la vida de un padre, sin importar lo que suceda en el mundo, sin importar las preocupaciones que nos agobien en los próximos días. Y aunque ese hijo tenga muchos más días por delante —algunos felices, otros tristes—, siempre recordará este, no por las actividades que lo hicieron tan feliz, sino por la felicidad misma. El recuerdo de días y momentos como estos puede ayudarnos a superar los momentos difíciles.

Una de las grandes cargas de la pobreza, ya sea la pobreza temporal y situacional o la pobreza generacional de por vida, es la sensación de aislamiento y abandono que puede generar. Abrumados por desafíos aparentemente insuperables, podemos no solo perder la esperanza, sino también la energía para intentar encontrar una salida.  Incluso los visitadores domiciliarios Vicencianos pueden sentirse abrumados por las historias que escuchamos y desanimados por no poder resolver todos los problemas. Esto puede hacernos perder de vista la razón principal por la que acudimos a los pobres.

¿Con qué frecuencia escuchamos que somos los únicos que devolvimos la llamada de ayuda? ¿Con qué frecuencia, al despedirnos, el vecino nos agradece de corazón nuestra visita «aunque no pueda ayudar»? La poeta Maya Angelou dijo una vez: «La gente olvidará lo que dijiste, la gente olvidará lo que hiciste, pero la gente nunca olvidará cómo los hiciste sentir».

Si bien es cierto que también ayudamos con las facturas, el alquiler, la comida y «cualquier tipo de ayuda que alivie el sufrimiento o la privación» [Regla, Parte I, 1.3], esas no son las cosas que enjugan las lágrimas ni alivian las cargas futuras.  Más bien, es cuando nuestra presencia y nuestro cariño les permiten vislumbrar el gran amor de Dios por ellos [Regla, Parte I, 2.1] que la visita puede convertirse en uno de esos momentos que animan el ánimo, no solo hoy, sino por muchos días.

Todos hemos llamado a amigos en momentos de angustia, no porque pensáramos que pudieran hacer algo por la enfermedad, la pérdida del trabajo u otra dificultad que afrontábamos, sino porque necesitábamos que compartieran nuestra carga, que nos recordaran con su presencia y comprensión que no estamos solos. Es precisamente por eso que nuestra Regla nos llama a establecer relaciones basadas en la confianza y la amistad [Regla, Parte I, 1.9]

Siempre damos generosamente, siempre brindamos toda la ayuda material posible, pero también debemos ser conscientes de que incluso si “doy todo lo que tengo… pero no tengo amor, no gano nada“. Visitamos como amigos con la esperanza, sobre todo, de que el prójimo se sienta animado, hoy y en el futuro, por cómo lo hicimos sentir: amado.

Contemplar

¿Cómo puedo ser mejor amigo del prójimo?