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How Can a Person Who Recently Lost a Loved One Cope With Christmas?

How Can a Person Who Recently Lost a Loved One Cope With Christmas? 2560 1704 Jill Pioter

Vincentian John J. Donohue from the St. Mary Magdalen bereavement group shared this with fellow members in the hopes it might help others this Christmas season.

How Can a Person Who Recently Lost a Loved One Cope With Christmas?

Many people are very happy during the Christmas season. They are filled with joy. However, there are many others who are filled with sadness because of the death of a loved one.

I can remember when my wife of 28 years died of cancer and I had three children to raise. Christmas was immensely sad for my children and myself. I did not know how to function. I did not know how to cook, do the laundry and many other things. I wished someone would have told me how to survive this most difficult time of my life. I resolved that if I ever got over all of these issues, I will do my very best to help those in a similar situation. The following are some of my thoughts.

Some Thoughts on Coping With the Christmas Season

The chances are you are not going to have a happy Christmas. As a result, you should lower your expectations. A reasonable goal would be to make your Christmas tolerable. Some of the things to consider are as follows:

  • Rest. You are undergoing the equivalent of a heart attack. Like any person who endures a heart attack, you need peace and quiet. Rest is essential and therapeutic. Create a day of self-care or a self-health day.
  • Watch what you eat and drink. There is a strong tendency to eat junk food or use excessive drugs or alcohol.
  • Exercise. Exercise helps to relieve stress. Take walks. Walks help to relieve anxiety.
  • Build yourself up emotionally. Do not be too hard yourself. Have confidence you can do certain things. If you do not know how to do something, ask for help. Friends are glad to have an opportunity to help you. Speak to your friends. Buy something nice for yourself. Have some time alone.
  • Consider new traditions – plan ahead. Determine what you can do and what you cannot do. Do something different than you did last year.
  • Discuss with your family who is doing what. Give yourself a break. This is the year you should not be overdoing anything. Let others do the work. Do not set a place at the table for the loved one. It will make the day more difficult. Consider a buffet style dinner instead of a sit down dinner. You could also consider having dinner at someone else’s house.
  • Christmas cards. Do not be compelled to send Christmas cards. Send none or a few. No one expects to receive a card from you.
  • Invitations. You may be invited to go to a party or any other social event. Do not be afraid to say no. People should understand. Only attend if you know you will feel comfortable. Generally, it is a bad idea to go to a wedding or an affair where there will be a lot of singing or dancing.
  • Shopping. Keep your shopping to a minimum. Stay out of malls or crowds. This is the time to do any online-shopping.
  • It is ok to cry. It helps to relieve anxiety. Just let the tears flow. It is therapeutic.
  • OK to be happy. Your loved one would want you to be happy. It is not disrespectful to your loved one. It gives you a break from your sadness.
  • Journal. Some people find it helpful to write out their thoughts. Do not use a computer. It is more therapeutic to write out your thoughts.
Spirituality

Let Christmas be the beginning of a new version of yourself. Spend time to think about Christmas more than you ever did before. Your loved one is enjoying Christ’s birthday in heaven. What a special gift! He or she will reach down from heaven and touch your heart in a way it was never touched before. You just have to ignore the commercialism and open your heart to love.

Christ came into this world as an infant and left the world a martyr. Ask yourself, do you really believe there is a God? If so, place your trust in Him. Speak to Him about your problems. Christ has said He will remove the yoke from your shoulders. I have seen a yoke and it is very heavy.

Allow Christ to be your companion on your journey. Know that you are special. Christ has given you special gifts. He does not bring anyone into the world “empty handed”. So reach out to others with love, compassion and understanding and you will have a wonderful Christ filled Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all and may Our Good Lord fill all of our hearts with love and joy and hold all of us in the Palms of His hands!

John J. Donohue
St. Mary Magdalen bereavement group
December 9, 2021

A Christmas Note to All Thrift Stores and Employees

A Christmas Note to All Thrift Stores and Employees 1200 628 Michelle Boyer

Merry Christmas to all in our Thrift Stores and employees a little early!

We hope you are all thriving and enjoying the Holiday season so far. It is a great time of year for us to take care of our neighbors in need and ensure their Holiday is meaningful. Our Stores Committee would like to Thank ALL of you for all you do every day for SVdP! Thanks!

We have a few ideas for you to think about implementing in your stores during December to help grow your sales and take care of your customers.

Here they are:

  • Review your store hours- Maybe open your stores on Sunday a couple weeks before Christmas.
  • Does your store look like Christmas? Is there a BIG tree as you enter your store? Are there lights up- Christmas music playing. Festive!
  • Maybe pick a Saturday to offer coffee, hot chocolate, and cookies.
  • Is your store full of product priced for the holiday? This could include sweaters, coats/jackets, hats, gloves, sweatshirts, and stocking stuffers. (Don’t forget ugly Christmas sweaters!) Cookware, dish sets, and gifts. Price items for $1-$2 for kids to buy for their parents.
  • Stores usually receive A LOT of Christmas decorations from last year. Price them right and move them quickly. Trees usually come in groves. Price them right and put them out on the floor! Don’t leave Holiday items in your backroom.
  • Please be sure your store is warm, inviting, well-lit, and clean for Holiday customers. Make sure staff are engaging with customers.
  • SVdP is a home where many shop with limited resources and need us to have our best foot forward! We are Macys to our customers!

These are just a few ideas to make our holiday season brighter for our neighbors in need. We know you all have dozens of ideas suggestions that make your stores special during the holidays! Thanks for all you do!

If you have ideas to share, contact Jeff Beamguard at jbeamguard@svdpusa.org or John Walters at waltjibt@aol.com

In closing- Please Cherish the Holiday time with friends and family. This time is precious and sometimes can be short.

Thanks for all you do and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Stores Committee.

 

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